Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

It's me. I'm not sure what's going on right now. I'm not sure how to respond to life. I don't really like it, but I know that Your plan is the utmost and highest. I know that Your ideas are loftier than mine will ever be. I know that You have my world under control. Even when I feel like life will never spin correctly again. I'm pretty bummed right now. I'm numb. I know that the flowers in my yard are blooming because You wanted me to have a bright spot in my day. Thank You for that.

Thank You for giving me a peace that I won't find anywhere else. I couldn't handle life without You. I couldn't live. I couldn't breath. I couldn't process or function. Thank You for that.

I feel like King David hiding from Saul. Like You're placing my heart, my delicate heart, in captivity so these storms don't shatter it. I feel like David in the lion's den. I know that You are going to shut the mouth of this lion. I feel like Ruth. A woman without a country. I know You are preparing an Eden for me. Thank You for that.

You are my Saviour. You are my Redeemer. You are the One who captures my heart. You are my Lord. You are my Prince. You are my All in All. Thank you for that.

Wednesday

In the morning, actually in approximately 8 1/2 hours from when I'm typing this, my baby girl will be rolled back into her first surgery. I hope this is the first for a LONG time - I'm already nervous about this one. When I was pregnant, they found an abnormality on my baby - at the time they thought it to just be a cyst type thing, but now it is a whole bunch of other things.

Let me break it down - if I could I would even draw you a picture or two but I'm not that talented!! You and I both have one tube that connects our kidney & bladder - Miss Zoe has two on one side and one on the other - so they (the dr's) call this a "duplicating system." She also has something called "reflux." When she "goes #1" some of the yellow kool aide goes back into her kidney - causing infections. This could potentially last until she is 7. The cyst type thing they (the drs) originally found has actually ballooned and is just kinda holding onto the yellow kool aide - we'll call the balloon a "pitcher" (get it...!?!?!) Sorry - kinda sleepy.

Anyway - they (the drs) will go in her in the morning and possibly make a small cut in her "pitcher" so she can finally share all of that yellow kool aide - any takers?? :)

What does this all mean? Basically, I'm petitioning for a lot of prayer.

Please pray for these few things specifically:

- Knowledge, wisdom and steady hands for everyone in the OR - especially Dr. Wilkerson (Zoe's DR)

- Patience, calming assurance, and lavished love for Mommy & Daddy - we WILL need these!!

- Painless, quick healing on Zoe's little body - that the Lord restore her to how He first created her

I know that there have already been TONS of prayers go up on behalf of the Detwiler/Zoe family -and I thank you so much for those - but please don't stop lifting my little girl up before the throne of God. I continually recite " perfect love drives out fear." I am loved in a perfect way by my Creator, as is my daughter, so I know that while my love is great for her, His love for His Son was even greater - yet He allowed Jesus to die for me. It's heavy stuff - but I trust that the Lord has it all under control.

Thank you if you're still reading this and again thank you for your prayers.

Home Sweet Home - Part 1

Yep - that's right - we're in our new home!!! Score for us!! I wanted to share a few pictures with you that show what our house looked like when we bought it. Just a disclaimer - no we're not crazy and yes you may get scared looking at these pictures - because it was worse in person!! However, it looks NOTHING like this now!! And those pictures will be coming in the next day or so!!! After I have a few more days to decorate and hang stuff on the walls!! We officially finished moving in at 3:00 AM on Saturday night/Sunday morning. It's pretty great to be home owners and actually get to enjoy our home!! Anyway, enough chit-chat - without further ado - here are the before pics of our house!!

Front view of our house - two HUGE great fruitless mulberry trees make the perfect shade!!

Our master bedroom - and yes that is a swag light - there was one in EVERY bedroom. Hello 70's!!!

Master bath - this also has turquoise shower tiles in a shower stall.

View from the dining room into the step down living room - very very dark paneling.

Our lovely kitchen - any one want a green stove & ventahood?!?!

View from kitchen into the dining room and the front door.

Laundry room/pantry - it's HUGE!!! And now it looks TOTALLY different!!!

Now that I've scared you to DEATH about what we're livng in - please stop back by tomorrow and check out the difference a little hard work, a tax refund, and a lot of man hours can do!!!